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Bullets with butterfly wings



那天在马路上
就是我们幸福的开始

Tuesday, November 30, 2004





I cried, because I am upset.
There are some things I don't understand.
How can there be nothing you like about this person, yet fall in love with him / her?

I am upset, but I am not crying.
Flowing tears comes to an end.
Or maybe they will not, will they?

I don't know.
I don't know.



Friday, November 26, 2004


Do you love me?

1
2
3
4


~
Heyo wassup. Still some days to Tuesday, the day of my last paper. Exams so far have been ok. Hahaha my typical response. "Ok lor." =p
Quite some depressing stuff happened, especially about my academics. But I guess I was never a good student anyway. Maybe I can try to be one from now?

Time to go running. Sigh. You know, sometimes I wish I don't think so much, but that's the way I am and I suppose there are good and bad things that come out of it.

I hope she truly loves me.



Thursday, November 18, 2004


T-1 DAY

First of all, the 4D in the previous entry didn't come out, but I didn't buy it anyway.

Next, as the title reads, tomorrow's the start of my examinations. Yup, all the way till the end of this month.

What better way to kickstart the period with my favourite exam in which I will get to see the professor whom gave me that maginificent pen. I was thinking if I should write her a short email thanking her for offering me tuition ( I didn't take the offer). Maybe I'll do it after the paper.

Ok then, everyone! Engage into top gears and bring on the onslaught!

JIA YOU O



go go gogo go gogo go gogo go go



Monday, November 15, 2004


8592

Anyone knows what number this is, especially related to me? These few days I could remember some of my dreams, amongst them I was skateboarding down somewhere and hit something, and the guy said my skateboard license plate (haha probably only appear in tony hawk's world) was 8592.

So I've been thinking about how these digits, random or not, have anything to do with me, and I've no answer.

It's the final days before my exams start. Trying to push myself pass these days, and I didn't even watch my usual simpsons and draw carey show. I did go to the gym though. Today I ran 6k at a very slow pace in 41minutes. Haha. Shiok. I mean, I feel good. Studying's really not my talent HAHAHAHA.

I wanna play basketball. Hmm. Must be influenced by those people playing whenever I send Princess P home. The last time I played so fervently was more than 10 years ago when I was in Primary school. There was a court beside my house and we played everyday. Those days~~

Interestingly my friends all play football. I don't mind that either. =)

Don't feel like typing much. I limit myself to be online for only awhile. Shall go play some online games then sleep early and wake early.



Friday, November 12, 2004


Welcome.

To Princess P's kopitiam.

No it sounds mismatched. Hmmm..

Welcome! To Princess P's eating heaven.

Damn but we're all alive. Hmmm..


Welcome to P-yummy!
A place where only good food is served!
(I'll think of a proper slogan another time.)

Today's yummy of the day is:
Princess P's marvellous muffin.
Take a bite. You know you want to.
Wow check it out. One look at it and you know it's so delicious. If you can only smell it, you'll be begging for more, and that's before you even touched it with your lips!

Today's lucky customer (perhaps the only customer =x oops I mean this customer is so damn lucky yah so lucky uh-huh no doubt about it) is....
Trent!

*Trent wanting to bury his head in his arms but luckily his quick reflexes allowed him to punch both fists into the air* "Yeah!" He exclaimed!

Trent examines the muffin closer. The raisins look so fresh and good, and the colour and texture of the muffin is simply oohlala~. The smell, oh the smell, captures bypassers from 3 blocks away, eases breathing for those with blocked nose problems, and can stop 2 sides about to fight a war, since both teams are captivated by the aroma.

Trent takes a bite.

Heaven.

The flavour oozes in his mouth, the taste igniting all emotions of pleasure.

Pure heaven.

Trent takes one bite after another. And soon the muffin became
Left the wrapper.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!


Trent has finished the muffin!!!
Oh but the wrapper smells so nice, and.. and.. there are still muffin crumbs on them.

Trent picks it up and......
Yum.
Bites it. And bites it.

Soon enough, Trent finishes everything.
Nothing left.
There is nothing left!!


Yup. Princess P's magical muffin is so good, it's marvellous alright.
Yummy yummy!


~
Princess P made me a box of 4 muffins actually. =) It's her first attempt at baking and really it's a very commendable effort and the muffin really tastes very good.

I know I know. I'm lucky I've already told myself that many times. =D




Thursday, November 11, 2004


My Roti Prata Day.

Started without any Roti Prata, because mum said the stall didn't open. She bought zui kueh and chee chong fun instead.

Today's a nice day too because it's the 11th day of the 11th month. When I look at my watch it says TH 11-11, and it's a nice thing to see because I like 11. Last night I realised that my friend is reading The Curious Incident of the dog in the night time, by Mark Haddon, and I feel so happy and excited because I have the book and I really love it a lot and I hope everyone will read it when they are free. My book can be borrowed. It's about an autistic kid who runs away from home trying to solve a dog murder mystery, and throughout the journey learns more than he ever did. Mark writes it very well and ahhhh... I wrote abit in my entry long ago so here you go: Click it. You know you want to. We also talked abit about the Family Prof, and she didn't get a free pen unlike I did. Whoa I'm more honoured than ever.

Last evening someone complimented that I wrote a nice entry in Friendster. HAHA! You know that stupid bulletin? And how it's always flooded by people so bored they attempt and post the quizzes? Now it's even worse, people paste bulletins and all those crap saying "paste this if you want the admin to know that you're still using friendster" and all that crap, or your testimonials will be deleted. People are so dumb to believe that, or rather they think it's no harm just pasting them, but it's irritating. But who reads bulletins anyway? Hah. These copy and paste messages reminds me of somewhat like what happened to ICQ in what seemed merely a few months back. Pasting messages telling people ICQ's gonna charge unless you do this and do that. Nobody's even on ICQ these days. It's MSN. It's the in thing. I have so many contacts in my MSN. Project mates, acquaintances, people I never talk to. The list will be full soon enough. Back to friendster, so there was one night about a week ago when I felt very depressed, and I just went in and tried to type something. My phenomenal mood swing brought me to writing crap halfway and finished it that way. My friend said it is sweet and funny and cheered up the day. Wah I feel so proud of myself, making people happy.

It's also Deepavali today, although there's nothing in it for me. On a diplomatic note, Trent wishes all readers a Happy Deepavali. Hey the press does this too, so why not.

You know in the bulletin I talked about Teletubbies, and my constant obsession at how they are the evils of the world.
So hot.
Oh yeah they're not so evil now...

I'm not drooling! Not as if there's not enough water around the neighbourhood. It's been raining for days. It IS the rainy season. Hate it. Depressing rain. But right now as I type the sun's come back up and it's getting brighter again!

Time to put on my running shoes.



Tuesday, November 09, 2004


The rest of my happy sad happy monday.

Ok I typed too much in the previous entry so I decided to start a new one instead hahaha.

So after that depressing time in that room I met up with Princess P, who tried to cheer me up, and promptly did. =)

And there was a mini meeting with some of my fellow mentors and we had a good time talking about everything.

As I left at about 740pm I got a phone call from Princess P. She asked if I just turned on my handphone, as she has been trying to contact me for the past hour and has been waiting at the bus stop since then.

Here's what's supposed to happen:
Her lesson starts at 6 and it might end early 'cos it's the last lecture. When she's done she'll call me and we'll meet at the pre-determined bus stop.

Here's what actually happened:
I got the call at 745pm saying she's been waiting and that she smsed me and she tried calling me but it seemed like my phone was off. So I rushed to the bus stop, while checking my handphone. True, I got two smses notifying me that she finished at 650pm and is waiting for me at the bus stop. But what I did not get was the phone calls. And I was holding on to my handphone during my mentor meeting all this while! My phone will give reminder beeps when I don't check the sms, but there was not even a sound received all this while. And then at the bus stop the caller alert smsed me saying "xxx tried to call me 9 times while you were not reachable..."

It's weird. I don't know what's wrong with my reception. Singtel?!?!?!! Past few weeks I've been complaining of not having reception in school.

So I rushed to see Princess P sitting forlorn and dejected at the bus stop. I perfectly understand that. I know I couldn't do anything, except apologise and offer her my reasons. Obviously she wasn't to be easily appeased. Can you imagine waiting for someone for an hour?

Fortunately, Princess P 大人有大量 (big person has big capacity), and forgave me, and was logical enough to think that it is not my fault. =) But I felt so guilty; technically she didn't wait for me because I didn't know she was there, but still I felt so bad. I also asked her why she didn't come find me and my friends 'cos she knows I'm there. She said she didn't really know them and don't feel comfortable. True to a certain extent, but in situations like this, I think the most logical (not to mention the safety aspect) thing to do is to go look for your friend if you know where he is but is uncontactable.

Not sure if I wrote it comprehensibly, but eventually we got it settled so that's what matters. I'm lucky she's understanding. Other girls might have just gotten angry for days (which I don't understand) and would leave me speechless and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. But Princess P was logical about it, and that's also what makes me love her. =p

Wishy-washy? Pardon me lahhhhh. Talking about someone who talks a lot. I sent Princess P home and was tired myself so I took a cab back. On the cab the uncle started by asking me why I was at the place and where I'm studying and so on. Then he talked about his oldest son who is 26years old and has 5 girlfriends and is currently choosing which girl to finalise and 2 of them are teachers and one a lawyer and another a chem engineer and I don't know what else and if you're wondering why I'm typing like this it's because he talks like this.

Non-stop.

It's ok I guess. It was a light hearted conversation. We also talked about education and how his son feels very proud that he's in EM1 and disagrees with his elder brother's methods in teaching him maths. And it goes on and on.

But the night ended happily. As my day today. It's tuesday and I woke up at 9 and did stuff and ate and did stuff and talked to Princess P and went to the gym and watched tv and it was fun.

Hmm actually typing like this saves time. Punctuation gets too redundant at times yah?

Peace out.



The pen is mightier than... than... ??!?!

Not just an ordinary pen.

This is not just an ordinary pen. Why's that?
Here's why. It's given to me by my Professor, this middled aged western woman, when I went into her room to collect my essay.
The following is the action and speech transcript (not to 100% accuracy obviously).

"Good afternoon Ma'am, I'm here to collect my essay."
"Oh hello welcome here find your name and sign beside it."
I didn't have a pen on my hand, so I asked to borrow her pen on her table. She turned her armchair around and reached for this pen and then handed it out to me with two hands, "Here, this is for you. It's always good to have a pen around."
I smiled and replied "No no it's ok." but she insisted. (?!?!)
"Ma'am you're not serious are you."
"As a matter of fact I'm. You can keep it."
So I signed beside my name, which was circled, but there were many other circled names on the list too. She told me to reach for the shelf for my paper.
I got it.

It's a D. A big fat D.
Shit. I mean, I know I'm probably a mediocre student, but am I that bad?
She told me to take a seat opposite her, and began to talk to me.

"As you can see, your paper wasn't very good............"
I flipped my paper. It was full of red. 满江红. (manjianghong)
The worse is yet to come. She then proceeded to talk about ivle, and the course website, and the lecture outlines in them. Her facial expressions were as if I'm some lazy student, who doesn't go to school or even check the site.
Some lines include: "You click the box that says lecture.. and in it.. it gives.."
"..Just like we talk about in the previous lecture...about..divorce..."
I mean I WENT TO THE LECTURE DAMN IT. And then she ended by telling me to read up my readings, and email her a meeting time so we can discuss and I can ask her questions and clarify my doubt.
I appreciate her professionalism and dedication in tutoring students, but perhaps I think too much, and her words were seemingly sarcastic at times, like slowing down her pace when talking about the course website. What?? I visit it every week man.
Argh I just hate this feeling you know? Sorta like people looking down on you, but they probably aren't. And before I left she reminded me take the pen.

So I have 2 theories on this pen. It looks brand new, and the price tag half removed so that we can't see the cost of it. Why did she give me this pen?

1) She's trying to mock me by saying I don't have a pen. Sorta like I give her the impression that I'm such a slacker and I have no stationery?? I was carrying my school bag that day anyway. So she just conveniently reaches out for some pen and gives it to me.

2) She bought a stack of pens and planned to give out those to D students like me.

As a form of mockery? Or encouragement? It's anybody's guess.

This, then is the story of the pen.

Stupid !!#$%^!@!@$">!@#$%^!@!@$! pen.



Sunday, November 07, 2004




Look what Princess P sent me!

So sweet!





Nice.

My friend sent me a card after seeing my msn nickname. Hah.

Click to see.

Cute.



Thursday, November 04, 2004


The OC #1-23

A nice quote from the episode I just saw and struck me:

Sandy: So, how was home?
Ryan: You tell me, I was in Chino.



----
For those of you who are oc-clueless, here's the deal: Ryan was brought up in Chino and due to some events he was taken into custody and guidance by Sandy, a lawyer at Orange County. Today's episode had Ryan going back to Chino in search of a missing girl Marissa, while the Sandy and the family had quite a time back home at OC.

So there you go. Isn't it heart warming?



Tuesday, November 02, 2004


Tarot reading

To begin: Pick 5 cards from a random pile.

Overview after you've picked 5 cards.



What each arrangement means.



A: The past, the reason
The Hermit
Recently you've been sucked into your own created world (eg an organisation) and have been occupied by work, as such leading to you neglecting yourself of the actual purpose deep within.



B: Your present state
Death
The present you dare not face the truth and venture forward, instead you choose to lock yourself in the world of the past, often hurting yourself.



C: The future
The Magician
You need to focus and concentrate, to know what spurs you and to realise your own importance, at the same time keeping a rational head and using actions to fufil your dreams.



D: The present situation
The Emperor
You're someone not suitable to lead, neither are you someone who goes by the books. You should seek for instability within peace, from which you can go and achieve things.



E: What you should do
The Empress
Your hypocritical self is a far cry from your true self, and has prevented you from experiencing true love. Eventually you will not be happy nor enjoy life, even if you're lavished with riches.



~
My first tarot reading! Albeit only an online one. And I know it's just a game, but the 5 cards aren't very nice I must say.



Have your tarot reading here.





Pictorial Charm

據說看過的人都會得到幸福
請把這份幸福傳給你認識的人

They say that for those whom this picture they see
Bestow on them happiness and glee

What do you see


I've Princess P and I wouldn't ask for anything more, but like the charm says I'm sharing it with you guys.

So may all of you be happy and stay that way. =)


What do you see in the picture anyway? Form an opinion before you click on the shots and see what I think.



November rain

Not the song, silly.

What? You have no idea what I'm talking about?? Don't you have a radio? You know those things you can turn the knob clock and anticlockwise? And there's sounds emitting from them? Or if you're more high end then it's those tiny buttons you press, usually denoted by numerals 1 2 3 and so on. And there's music coming out from the speakers, not unless when Britney Spears is singing. That's just trash.

Was saying. Rain's not good. But it's November. November is good because it's no.11 on the calendar. 11's my favourite number. It's like putting 2 ones together, and if you imagine hard enough, it's like two thumbs up signs painting the 11, with their knuckles touching each other, and the thumbs wriggling up and down, a signal of in love.

Which I repeat, is precisely what I'm now.

Yes after one big round of the bush I finally get to what I'm trying to say.

See this?
Cute piggie.
It's a cute piggie. It looks pretty blue here, but it's more of a violet blue in real. I like it, because it's from Princess P. And it's cute. So is it cute because I like it, or is it because I like it so it's cute. Is the table there because I see it? Or is it because I see it so the table's there?

Ahhhh these kinda things keep you thinking, don't they? Which is also why sometimes my hair decides to go for a new look and turn themselves white. No no there's no racist connotation here! Black is good. White is good. It's allllll good.

Oh and contrary to popular belief (which is my belief), P doesn't stand for Pig. HAHA! So the cute piggie (the picture, not her) is actually a coin bank, and I put it on top of my computer desk so when I wake up every morning I can see it from my lying on my bed and picture her immediately. (Not that the pig bares a resemblance to her. Don't anyhow put words in my mouth ok!!!!)

Hmmm.. actually I have more to say but something's just happened and I'll just end here. It's a tremendous mood swing even for a blog entry but yah well that's me totally. Happy one moment, sad the next.

And it's raining not in november, but in my heart. I'll write again soon.



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